Accord — Family Mediation Without the Courtroom

Getting started

"Do I have to be in the same room as my ex?"

No. You can attend sessions remotely by video or phone, and you are never required to share a physical or virtual space with your ex-partner. If you prefer to meet in person but feel unable to sit together, we offer shuttle mediation — where you and your ex wait in separate rooms while the mediator moves between you.

Most Accord sessions happen online, which removes the need to travel and reduces the anxiety of proximity. We let you choose the format that feels safest, and we can change it at any point if your needs shift.

No. You can attend sessions remotely by video or phone, and you are never required to share a physical or virtual space with your ex-partner. If you prefer to meet in person but feel unable to sit together, we offer shuttle mediation — where you and your ex wait in separate rooms while the mediator moves between you.

Most Accord sessions happen online, which removes the need to travel and reduces the anxiety of proximity. We let you choose the format that feels safest, and we can change it at any point if your needs shift.

Legal process

"What is a MIAM and do I have to attend one?"

A MIAM — Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting — is a short individual meeting with an accredited mediator. It is required by law before you can make most applications to a family court in England and Wales. The purpose is to explain what mediation involves and assess whether it is suitable for your situation.

Your MIAM is separate from mediation itself. It usually lasts around 45 minutes and can take place by video. If mediation is not appropriate for your circumstances, your mediator will sign the court form so you can proceed without delay.

A MIAM — Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting — is a short individual meeting with an accredited mediator. It is required by law before you can make most applications to a family court in England and Wales. The purpose is to explain what mediation involves and assess whether it is suitable for your situation.

Your MIAM is separate from mediation itself. It usually lasts around 45 minutes and can take place by video. If mediation is not appropriate for your circumstances, your mediator will sign the court form so you can proceed without delay.

Participation

"What if my ex refuses to attend?"

Mediation is voluntary, and neither party can be compelled to take part. If your ex declines the invitation, your mediator will write to confirm this and sign the MIAM certificate, which allows you to proceed to court if necessary.

In practice, many people who initially refuse reconsider when they understand that a court is likely to refer the case back to mediation anyway — and that engaging early almost always produces a faster, less expensive outcome than waiting.

Mediation is voluntary, and neither party can be compelled to take part. If your ex declines the invitation, your mediator will write to confirm this and sign the MIAM certificate, which allows you to proceed to court if necessary.

In practice, many people who initially refuse reconsider when they understand that a court is likely to refer the case back to mediation anyway — and that engaging early almost always produces a faster, less expensive outcome than waiting.

Confidentiality

"Is what we say in mediation confidential?"

Yes, entirely. Everything discussed in mediation sessions is confidential and cannot be used as evidence in any subsequent court proceedings. Your mediator is bound by professional rules that prevent disclosure to any third party, including a court, without the consent of both participants.

The only exception is a legal duty to report a serious risk of harm to a child or vulnerable adult. This threshold is high, and your mediator will always explain it clearly at the start of your first session.

Yes, entirely. Everything discussed in mediation sessions is confidential and cannot be used as evidence in any subsequent court proceedings. Your mediator is bound by professional rules that prevent disclosure to any third party, including a court, without the consent of both participants.

The only exception is a legal duty to report a serious risk of harm to a child or vulnerable adult. This threshold is high, and your mediator will always explain it clearly at the start of your first session.

Legal standing

"Is the agreement we reach legally binding?"

The document produced at the end of mediation — called a Memorandum of Understanding or Parenting Plan — is not automatically legally binding. This is deliberate: it reflects that you have reached the agreement freely, without coercion.

If you want to make it legally enforceable, a solicitor can draft a Consent Order based on your Memorandum, which a court then approves. For most families, the Memorandum alone is sufficient — people are more likely to honour agreements they helped write.

The document produced at the end of mediation — called a Memorandum of Understanding or Parenting Plan — is not automatically legally binding. This is deliberate: it reflects that you have reached the agreement freely, without coercion.

If you want to make it legally enforceable, a solicitor can draft a Consent Order based on your Memorandum, which a court then approves. For most families, the Memorandum alone is sufficient — people are more likely to honour agreements they helped write.

Scope

"What decisions can mediation actually cover?"

Mediation can cover child arrangements (who the children live with, when they see each parent, school holidays, special occasions), child maintenance, division of property and finances, and communication protocols between parents.

You do not have to address everything at once. Some families begin with child arrangements only, then return later for financial discussions. The agenda is yours — the mediator structures the conversation, not the outcome.

Mediation can cover child arrangements (who the children live with, when they see each parent, school holidays, special occasions), child maintenance, division of property and finances, and communication protocols between parents.

You do not have to address everything at once. Some families begin with child arrangements only, then return later for financial discussions. The agenda is yours — the mediator structures the conversation, not the outcome.

Children

"What about the children — will they be involved?"

Children are always at the centre of the process, but they are rarely present in sessions. Your mediator will consistently focus discussion on what arrangements will best serve your children's needs, not what feels fair to the adults.

In some cases, with the agreement of both parents, a mediator may offer a short, age-appropriate conversation with older children to understand their wishes. This is optional, handled with great care, and never used to put children in the position of choosing between parents.

Children are always at the centre of the process, but they are rarely present in sessions. Your mediator will consistently focus discussion on what arrangements will best serve your children's needs, not what feels fair to the adults.

In some cases, with the agreement of both parents, a mediator may offer a short, age-appropriate conversation with older children to understand their wishes. This is optional, handled with great care, and never used to put children in the position of choosing between parents.

High conflict

"What if our situation is high-conflict?"

High-conflict separations are not a barrier to mediation — they are often where mediation has the most to offer. Shuttle mediation and online sessions mean you never have to be in the same space as your ex. Your mediator is trained specifically in de-escalation and will manage any attempt to dominate or intimidate.

Mediation is not suitable where there is a genuine risk of domestic abuse. During your MIAM, your mediator will assess this carefully and will never pressure anyone into a process that is unsafe. If mediation is not appropriate, we will say so clearly and help you identify the right next step.

High-conflict separations are not a barrier to mediation — they are often where mediation has the most to offer. Shuttle mediation and online sessions mean you never have to be in the same space as your ex. Your mediator is trained specifically in de-escalation and will manage any attempt to dominate or intimidate.

Mediation is not suitable where there is a genuine risk of domestic abuse. During your MIAM, your mediator will assess this carefully and will never pressure anyone into a process that is unsafe. If mediation is not appropriate, we will say so clearly and help you identify the right next step.

Wider family

"Can grandparents use mediation?"

Yes. Grandparents can attend family mediation to establish or restore contact with grandchildren, address concerns about a grandchild's welfare, or help rebuild communication between parents after a separation. Grandparents do not have an automatic legal right to contact, but a mediated agreement reached with the parents is far more durable than a court order imposed on an unwilling family.

We also work with adult siblings navigating the division of a deceased parent's estate — a process where early mediation almost always prevents the kind of legal dispute that can permanently end family relationships.

Yes. Grandparents can attend family mediation to establish or restore contact with grandchildren, address concerns about a grandchild's welfare, or help rebuild communication between parents after a separation. Grandparents do not have an automatic legal right to contact, but a mediated agreement reached with the parents is far more durable than a court order imposed on an unwilling family.

We also work with adult siblings navigating the division of a deceased parent's estate — a process where early mediation almost always prevents the kind of legal dispute that can permanently end family relationships.

"Do I have to be in the same room as my ex?"

"What is a MIAM and do I have to attend one?"

"What if my ex refuses to attend?"

"Is what we say in mediation confidential?"

"Is the agreement we reach legally binding?"

"What decisions can mediation actually cover?"

Mediation is for more people
than you might expect.

Separating couples

Grandparents

Adult siblings

"What about the children — will they be involved?"

"What if our situation is high-conflict?"

"Can grandparents use mediation?"

A quiet room.
A fair outcome.

"Do I have to be in the same room as my ex?"

"What is a MIAM and do I have to attend one?"

"What if my ex refuses to attend?"

"Is what we say in mediation confidential?"

"Is the agreement we reach legally binding?"

"What decisions can mediation actually cover?"

Mediation is for more peoplethan you might expect.

Separating couples

Grandparents

Adult siblings

"What about the children — will they be involved?"

"What if our situation is high-conflict?"

"Can grandparents use mediation?"

A quiet room.A fair outcome.

Mediation is for more people
than you might expect.

A quiet room.
A fair outcome.